Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King – book review

One of the best seller of 2018, after hearing alot of rave about this book I decided to add this to my shelf. Genre suggests that it’s self-help/motivational, it starts with explaining law of vibration and how everything has a vibration of it’s own. Entire universe is vibrating at a frequency and to fulfil life at its best one needs to entwine with the frequency of universe, it’s simple yet very complex. Process to get in equal frequency with universe is a journey, book touches meditation but not to profound. It’s very similar to law of attraction(if you have read ‘The Secret’) but it drafts the difference, even the tiniest speck is vibrating and so are we with every breath, if this sound current will stop, it will be our last exhale. Our vibration attracts people, situation and events in our life; good or bad, we should work on switching our vibration to manifest anything, if we are happy and joyful it will naturally attract positive situations and vice versa. A quick self evaluation will help you guide through your own vibe.

Now, the practices to change your vibe is not Isaac Newton’s theory but plain sailing, it has been written everywhere and should be our way of living but we leisure on laze. Few points which I completely swear by and has somehow worked for me :-

1. Surround yourself with positive people, who are vibrating higher than you or feeling better than you, energy is contagious it will instantly lift you. One simple rule; change of emotions=change of vibration. You can even trick your brain by simply changing your body language infact majority of messages that we give are non-verbal, such as expressions, gestures and how we hold ourselves.

2. Take some time out to reset yourself just unplug and do something you genuinely enjoy but that has to only involve you no other person.

3. Stay clear of drama and gossip (personal favourite), we might think that it’s harmless but it has a very strong impact on our vibe. By gossiping we simply adore our EGO and belittle other people, the more we spend time in gossiping the more we seem to complain and find comfort in misery.

4. What you eat and drink, eats you– what you consumes simply consumes your life, enough has been said on benefits of being vegetarian, apart from gut health it impacts our emotions. It’s a long debate, sort your nutrition and water it will automatically change your vibration.

5. Express Gratitude – Sometimes it’s tough to find gratification when you’re feeling low but a simple gratification practice can manifold your blessings.

6. Awareness of present – This is very thorough, worry of future and fear of past is guiding our present but if you look clearly present has nothing; no worry, no fear, it’s either past or future which stop us from embracing our present. It’s putting awareness in everything you do which can be as simple as washing hands, if you pay attention to every single detail of your day your mind will learn to leave the past and future will have no endurance to affect present.

7. Meditate – This is a cluster of all of the above, you can shift your energy, be with yourself, be present, make positive lifestyle change and be conscious of your being just by meditating. Author has given a step-by step guide on meditation but you can always choose what works for you. I have been doing twin-heart meditation since years now and I can tell how it has benefited me in sticky patches.

8. Prioritise yourself- You will only be able to give what you have, protect your energy first. Sometimes you need to forgo certain people in life who in name of feedback kills your energy, they can be friends or family members. Make choice to walk past rather than sticking to any toxicity.

8. Be your own cheerleader- Only you can help yourself; respect yourself, value your uniqueness, compare your growth with yourself not with others, value your body and forgive, when you forgive you give yourself more peace and build more positive energy inside.

9. Power of words and affirmations– You witness your each thought, change your beliefs which has been conditioned from ages, learn and grow. All you need is an intention, write about your desires and live your story. Life is not simple it can throw you to the dumps but you can always fix, always.

Some of the words and chapters might feel like good to read but less to be realistic. My only feedback is if you’re looking for radical meditation practice then this book is not for you, it guides on lifestyle and behavioural habits which can transition your vibe but it has more insight than explained. Book has a flow, it’s a pleasant read and you will not regret buying it. Happy reading!

To, for and by a Woman

Now that am a mother to a daughter I greatly ponder on the irony of society where she is a goddess yet confined under four walls. She is supposed to work round the clock, serve everyone and yet there’s no one to serve her. If someone does, it is either help or surprise but it is by default her responsibility. In a structure where both men and women are working, she will come back home and serve family while man will rest or barely contribute to household chores or if he does he will be applauded hundred times and will be awarded best husband award. No matter how well a girl is in her career, her identity prevails on how good she’s in kitchen. Right from the beginning, parents are hesitant to spend on girls education for obvious reason that one day she will be married off then why not to save for her wedding. Inequality begins right from the birth, I remember when I gave birth to my daughter, all the nurses around were pacifying me “oh it’s okay, she’s your first born, next time try for a boy” , I reckon most of the people who came and meet us has just one thing to say “ Next time, boy” No, I didn’t ask for your sympathy am supremely happy for the birth of my daughter and I love her irrespective of her gender, she’s healthy and that’s the only thing I ever prayed for. Girls are always conditioned right from childhood to how to behave, sit, talk or dress. Parents don’t dress their sons in anything pink, frilly or glittery because that’s girly but girls can pick from a boys section because that’s gender neutral, society where“Neutral” itself is a male. Patriarchy has shaped our society very deep that it is now ingrained that women who wears short clothes are floozy, if she talks loud subjected as ballsy, if she wants to be working after marriage; seeks permission, if she wants to go out with friends late; slut. We as women have given so much authority to others to make our decisions, we are either asking or tagged if we don’t act as per society’s standard of an ideal girl. She always has to seek permission or validation/approval from parents then in-laws/husband and if God forbid something wrong happens she is so scared for speaking for herself because she has always been taught to adjust and over the years it ingrained in her conscious that it is “normal” for a girl to be submissive.

As per survey women are twice more likely to depression than men and gender inequality being one of the major cause of that. It starts rooting from childhood; biased behaviour between a brother and a sister, unequal access to education, toys, food, clothes, facilities, affection from family and even skin colour; fair skinned girls are beautiful but dark is ugly. Few days back, a video was making rounds on internet about how our textbooks refers artificial or manufactured as “man-made” which implies woman but doesn’t get the acknowledgment. Gradually girls bound with such inequality starts thinking herself less of a boy and vice versa, which further encourage eve-teasing, dowry in name of gifts, sexual/physical/mental abuse, subjecting woman as “property/liability” and it is never ending.

Change begins at home and only mothers ( who is a woman herself) can bring the change, women needs to be educated not just to bring ration for the family and tutor her kids but to make the change in society, as a mother she needs to teach her boys to be gentle, emotional and contribute equally at home because that’s the way of existence and to educate her kids that your gender doesn’t make you any special, irrespective of your gender you have to go out and earn because that’s how we earn livelihood and come back home make your house a place to live, cook for yourself because that’s existence. A woman will not come to take care of your house, clothes, foods and kids. God has created every one equal with different responsibilities but we have created the difference. Education does create awareness but it doesn’t teach moral values it entirely begins at home, I have seen doctors, lawyers or highly qualified men abusing their wives, daughter/ in law and creating a false sense of values which only promote more difference between a man and a woman. The responsibility is of a woman to take charge of what is wrong, stand and support other women and create equality not as per their convenience.

I would conclude above in a beautiful shabad* by Gurunak Dev Ji*-

bhand* jammee-ai

bhand nimmee-a

Bhand mangan vee-aaho.

Bhanda-ho hovai dos-tee

bhanda-hu cha-lai raahu.

Bhand mu-aa bhand bhaalee-ai

bhand hovai ban- dhaan.

So ki-o man-daa aakhee-ai jit ja-meh raa jaan.

Bhanda- ho hee bhand oop-jai, bhandai baajh na ko-ay.

Translation as followed :-

From woman, man is born; within woman, man is conceived; to woman he is engaged and married.Woman becomes his friend; through woman, the future generations come.When woman dies he seeks another woman to woman he is bound.So why call her bad. From her, kings are born?From woman, woman is born; without woman, there would be no one at all.

Guru Nanak ji made a radical call not just for gender equality but for empowerment for a rightful place in society. Five hundred years ago women have made stride to own their power equally yet sadly there’s a huge difference between aspiration and reality.

*Shabad- holy recitation literally, sound currents which vibrates in every living being spiritually. *Guru Nanak Dev ji- was the founder of shikhism. *Bhand- has been figuratively used for woman not literally.

Fear

Fear is a big snob, it will take life out of you and make you feel inferior, it will pull you down, it will bully you from inside. You think of a person, situation or society and imagine it to be too strenuous that you fear confrontation but confrontation is always better than being fearful. Fear has no base over reality, reality maybe tough but once you step over the situation you have no one to stop you, you have suddenly passed over your own limitation and sometimes you may enjoy being brave and to be able to speak your mind, you can’t take everyone along the journey, there will be heartbreaks, dejection but all you need is approval from inside and try to practice tact as much as possible.

You need the courage to fight but if someone is impossible to stand or the situation is too bad to be practical then it is better to let go, the more one dig deeper the more the shit you will have. The antonym of fear is Calm, the journey to grow over is tough but life has never been easy on anyone. If you ever been part of anything similar then don’t let your ego rule and tell you “I have been there then why not someone else” if you had a distaste of something then never let anyone consciously go through the same journey, if your own journey has not taught you a lesson then life has repeat classes and you will go through the same exam over and again.

Be brave and mindful of your words, thoughts and emotions because they have a lot of vibration then you can think of and vibration manifest in garb of circumstances and people. First step in this journey is to understand your fear and accept your shortcomings (reason of fear) then check if you have done something wrong to be fearful then evaluate your self worth and confront. CONFRONTATION is the key to grow over it, you have to face your fear and you feel the calmness and confidence which you never thought ever existed, if you will brewing it inside it will slowly eat you up and will manifest fatal diseases and unpleasant circumstances. Always seek help from people you confide in they will help you see a clearer picture and will let you grow.

*DISCLAIMER : I am not an expert but as timid as you or anyone but I believe in inner beauty and true light which is guiding each one of us. This blog is note to self and people who might need this one pump of positive-ty.

One Breath Away

We are living in walls made of paper, which can fall in any blow. We are so bound with love; hate, attachment,possessions, people, materials, accomplishments; failure, life; death that nothing is permanent. We are that one breath away from a happy joyous moment and a tragic news, it is standing right on our door step. Life is a surprise, we can never expect what is in store next. The shape and size of happiness and misery we have today or will have in future can never be predicted.
“Now” has a lot of power, forget the past it can never be mended and stop worrying for future, all we have is today, just be with it. If life is meant to end then what is the whole purpose of life? why nature made a rule when it is an irony altogether ? I have been searching it in religious texts and spiritual books but all I can accumulate is FAITH which is very fragile, it can seed in superstition and unnecessary religious practice which will further confuse the TRUTH but love is organic and simply the very creation. Love abide us and entire planet together, the truest form of love is self-love and it will guide you through to all the hardships and will keep you rooted at your peak. The law of nature has everyone’s expiry, make sure to invest the most in YOU.

Selfless

We all have a quest inside, like a search with no reason and end ; sometimes no clear initiation. I am a firm believer that there are no coincidences, everything has a reason to pass through. We often question the existence of certain situation on us, and I suggest we should always. We may not be able to find answers but it will sure take you an inch further and if nothing, it helps us to grow deeper as individual.
World is full of miracles and magic, nature will never fail to amaze you. On our recent trip to Thailand we found two beautiful souls who helped us through for currency exchange, world where we see cruelty and unjust also has a side where people go extra mile without expecting a help in return.
The very first incident happened when we boarded our flight and we had a plan to get our currency exchanged at the airport (INR to Baht) but we realised that the currency exchange rate for cash is very high and we will end up loosing a lot, our fellow flight mate who was a frequent traveller guided us and also paid for our Visa fees as we were not carrying any Baht (Thailand’s currency) and also withdrew 15000 Baht from his forex card (Which has the minimum currency exchange rate i.e 2.3%) in return of cash (INR) and we were literally wondering do these people still exist ? We live in a space of good and evil and we are subconsciously attracting our bit of good or bad. Next morning, we were looking for local currency exchange portals to get the best price but all had a minimum of 2.5%, we had a tandem jump planned for next morning, around 9ish in the evening we bumped into an indian to check if he has any acquaintance to get best currency exchange and trust me he was not the first, we have been checking at every exchange possible but heaven knows how we came across, he was at the age on 70 probably and was frequent flyer to Thailand to treat his ailing wife, they were using ancient technology of acupuncture and energy healing. He exchanged our rest of the entire money in local currency(Baht) on the lowest bank rate (2.29%) and in middle of the night we were literally awestruck as how life is so beautiful and we really hope that they receive the right help, support and guidance from the universe.

Some might think, this is no deal and yes we would have gotten it exchanged but we still got the desired help and we are truly grateful for that and the takeaway is that KINDNESS has no expiry and help with no expectation will count in the most unexpected way. Every night has a day, no matter how dark it gets it will sure light up sooner or later, some days may plug you off but we should always keep in mind that even in darkest places there’s a light, it might be tough to spot at the very moment but it is there, all we can do is to take one step at a time and try to be someone’s sunshine.

Listen to your heart

A lot of times we don’t listen to our heart and our mind dominates our actions but in a larger scheme they both are part of one alchemy. Our thoughts are fluctuating but our emotions take time to shift, we may think number of thoughts but our overall emotion stays the same, which means we care more of what we feel instead of what we think. I personally believe that where we try to put a lot of logic and tell our heart about all the reasoning, it will not listen if something doesn’t seem to be right, our heart is an intuitive side which often does not have any logic but still the energy keeps guiding. There’s no rule book, it all depends on which side of hand you are at. Remember, times when there’s an intricate sense of awkwardness in your heart. Even after all the best possibilities you don’t feel happy and those are the times when your heart has taken a back seat. It is always safe to have an intellectual decision but at the end what matters is YOU, without a doubt we do care the most for ‘I’ and to an extent that we are creating misery and sufferings, why is that so?

We are running for materials and possessions without following our heart, there are number of days when we don’t feel satisfied and we have now accepted life as it is but the truth is we all are capable of enjoying it at its fullest. We don’t necessarily need to be exuberant or happy only if the outside situation will be our way, truth is; it will not always be.
We are not aware of our own capabilities, the awareness of our own being. Whole existence is made of one energy, the very energy which is in a plant or an animal is in a human being but have we ever heard of plants or animals dyeing of depression or anxiety but humans being the most sophisticated life energy is struggling just to be alive. The other day I was watching an interview of Charlie Chaplin who struggled all his life with depression and we all are aware of how famous comedian he was, to feel sad or grim does not make you weak instead the very nature of a human being is to be exuberant and throughout the evolution humans have forgotten the very nature of being. We have the maximum comfort and inventions than the generations ever had and maximum anxiety ever recorded.
It’s high time we get in touch with our own system and take time to nourish the inner world. A little awareness towards things around will bring a lot of change, just before going to bed just try to connect with yourself just bow down to the energy which is within you and in everyone, just a sense of awareness not to any imaginary GOD; bow down and be grateful. Everything lies in present, even if we are sitting idle we either be thinking of past or worrying for future without realizing present has no problem at all, we are not available for life and gradually life also started to deject.
Don’t let your brain reason you, be with the moment and in the moment; have all the answers. I would say it is high time we close our eyes as you are the only person who will stay till the last and beyond.

Speak the truth with Love

We often get into dilemna of speaking our heart out but ‘sooner the better’ saying is always a good opotion than chattering in your mind because you beleive it or not it is communicated,if not verbally then energetically. You can coat your words but there’s no filter in your mind, you deliberately have to pull yourself out of all the thoughts as it is a bog. If something is bothersome, think or do something that you really like instance, I like watching videos on spiritualty and self-love and I turn on to youtube to distract the egoic mind. You have whole life to think but that very moment when you are at peak of your emotion don’t let your brain master on any negative thought, they sure will come but we can distract them always. I go by “Speaking with Tact” it is not always important to say what you feel because you may or may not be always right and often judging a situation as how it appear can be a disadvantage. Take time and observe the very nature of situation or a human and if something continues then make your move but with sensitivity, we often forget the person next is a human being with all the emotions functioning and if something can hurt us then to someone else too. Anything for that matter, if you allow for your own-self or your loved ones then don’t judge the person on the other side. Now, second scenario is you have been humble enough to people that they have now taken a toll on your emotions, then please speak because layers and layers of ignorance will be dangerous and one day you will loose patience and yes the very first pointer to be sensitive will fall apart. To breif on above :-

1. Speak with tact and always respect the person on other side, irrespective of their gender, background, caste, creed, color, age and our house-helps; everyone is entitled for equal respect as we ought to receive
2. Don’t hold yourself for too long as it will fish on your own health one day, every negative thougt is making a blockage and it will be manifested one day. Clear your mind with white and positive energy by forgiveness. Forgive yourself first and forgive others too
3. There’s always a better way of saying what you feel, choose a better version and it is okay if you fail to impress others just be content from within and beleive in what you do, if you can truly justify yourself WITHIN for your acts then remember “He knows why you did not what you did”
4. Last but not leat, every night before sleeping take time to thank God for holding you and everyone in place and for all the help, protection and guidance.

Happiness is a State of Mind

We define Happiness as acquisition of materials, goals and ambitions. To have an ambition is not wrong, it drives you and eventually it will become the driver. You would look at situation as good or bad based on your laid beleives say, when I will become this/that or when situation will be in a certain way ; I will be happy, without knowing that this is YOUR situation and LIFE which is not based on anyones approval or definition of what should make you happy. It comes from within irrespective of the situation outside. Yes, we get affected from what is happening around but if you just sit back and think how can someone control your state of mind, someone said nice things oh! am happy, now vice verse; I can’t deal it, as if we are looking for an approval, but why? who you are today is because of your experiences with life and it very discrete and personal to you so how can someone ever drive your vehicle without your permission.

We are nothing, just a peck of dust. Tomorrow we will be gone only handful of people will be truly affected then why are we trying to please the entire world and in course of that you are raising bar for yourself. You wish to be someone but no one can be YOU. You are the only piece with a tinge of YOU. Some might not be even happy at the most favorable conditions because they don’t realise where they are and people with less amenities can be happy because luxury, comfort, beauty and acquisition don’t define them.

We need to grow above the standards of what people define us and to know “Happiness is state of mind” not a situation or a goal.

Freedom

Freedom doesn’t come easy it takes persistent hardwork from what we are doing today, today may not have a ray of light or you may even not be aware that you are enslaved of a situation as you tend to accept things as they are and you fear change.
Thoughts and actions which are enslaving you in past or future needs to be changed because all we have is today and we need to bring a change in the Present. All the mindsets, laid beleifs and practices which define who you are can never be true because who has walked through the path other than you ? This is a sole journey, you can enjoy someone’s company but you will find peace only with yourself. I am not saying PEACE is paramount or goal as this is inate nature of a human being to be Peaceful but centuries went by it has sadly our ultimate goal now. All the material acquisitions, desires, ambitions are trapping us in temporary happiness which we think is the way of life ; to be always driven from something outside without realising how far this has taken us from our real self.
We need to grow mature in a way that we all shall be able to stay honest with tact, anyone for that matter who has been deprivated from a basic right of expression has to fight the battle again and this time with himself. We may think it is the society which stops us for being what you are, instead we all attain a power to bring change first in within and then only in others. If we all need freedom from something or other than what do we fear for ? When everyone is flawed.
Life has to go on with one or other challenge, cry through the night but smile next morning and remember we don’t want freedom from people, we need to permit ourselves to be flawed, rule breaker, not a pleaser and defy to be a follower of what you don’t beleive in. We are better of without rules, we put ourselves in parameters of exuberant and keep chasing it till we hear it from others but inside you have kept yourself on sideline, you have not thought of the person that needed the most attention, you kept mingling on “What I want and What people want from me” especially a girl who has always been staked in such definitions, all such acquisitions which defines who she should be instead who she is, need to freed. We need that change, we need that FREEDOM.

Beauty that hurts

It’s torn, filthy and dirty today
New clothes have stains, seems to be permanent
The smell of fresh clothes is intriguing and they cover the wounds for sometime
What is this stink ? like carrying till ages
Stink of insecurities, worry and fear keep layering each day
Time is ticking and I need to change
Change these old clothes and get a brand new
Question is, will it take away this stink ?

New clothes will have a fresh odour but sadly same story will be repeated
Wear new; layers of prejudice, misunderstanding and envy will leap on
Changing clothes will not change the story
Today, I will wash my old pair of clothes till the time come
Next time when I will get a fresh pair;
I will layer it with honesty, compassion and divine love
Don’t look death with fear and enxiety, it will come to all sooner or later
There’s only transmutaion to other realm
passing over with new clothes
When the end comes, there will be no regrets
He will look after you..