Beauty that hurts

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It’s torn, filthy and dirty today
New clothes have stains, seems to be permanent
The smell of fresh clothes is intriguing and they cover the wounds for sometime
What is this stink ? like carrying till ages
Stink of insecurities, worry and fear keep layering each day
Time is ticking and I need to change
Change these old clothes and get a brand new
Question is, will it take away this stink ?

New clothes will have a fresh odour but sadly same story will be repeated
Wear new; layers of prejudice, misunderstanding and envy will leap on
Changing clothes will not change the story
Today, I will wash my old pair of clothes till the time come
Next time when I will get a fresh pair;
I will layer it with honesty, compassion and divine love
Don’t look death with fear and enxiety, it will come to all sooner or later
There’s only transmutaion to other realm
passing over with new clothes
When the end comes, there will be no regrets
He will look after you..

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Nature-Brain

Mother earth has now polluted to an extent that all the disruption happening has caused chaos in human brains as well, every day science is coming accross a new disease. Ego and hatred has taken pace on large amount of population that no one has time to think of where we are heading and all these are manifested on earth in name of natural disasters, climatic change, temperature rise and list goes on.

You never know what next morning puts you with, since a routine is happening on such a recurring basis that we have taken it so for granted. We never know life might throw us something unexpected. All these physical possessions, materialistic gains even small issues which we are holding on to, will not make any sense. For days and days you haven’t seen a daylight coming, yet you hope for a light that one day it will change, years went by and your belief has also taken a turn but deep down all you wish is to get off this bed and just walk freely with no barrier of judgement, fear, misogyny or worry. For the last time you want to see the mother nature like you have never noticed before, you want to be with yourself and completely with yourself, not that the people are not relevant for you but a realisation that you have to take it all alone and you will go alone but only with the help of LORD.

Negative emotions and thoughts not only harm the aura of the person subjectified but also deplete you as a person from inside, one may not even realise but your mind has taken power on you and you will always take reality as it appears which you need to realise that nothing exists as it appears and self-centered attitude; I, me, myself is guiding you to never ending maze and you are entangled to a level where you don’t wish to be tangled anymore.

By reciting his name, you will get the strength and wisdom to understand the higher purpose to look the situation as it is, only then you will be able to make truce in his decision. Don’t expect external situation to change or play a miracle because it will take years and years of practice to change what is going inside. His name will help you with cleansing at soul level which may or may not manifest in physical world but once you are entwine with him, all materials are irrelevant.

Fear is an exhibit

I don’t see across a single person who doesn’t face a set back, one maybe living a dream of hundreds but that one still will not be content, since happiness is not synonym with any worldly pleasure. We tend to see on someone else’s plate first than filling our own tummy. Fear of looking ugly (as per set stereotype standards of beauty), fear of not passing an exam, getting job, house, life partner, stability, loosing your beloved, self-esteem and list goes on. It has measured us to an extent that we are masking our own personality.

If fear is the driver of our happiness then this shall define the perfect oxymoron as fear and happiness are sailing the same boat. We may not realise it today but this fear will take shape as it is residing on us without paying a single penny and consequently we have to pay a hefty charge. Sharing with my own experience which may help you to shed a layer of it :-

1. Lesser the expectations, more the content :- Our own laid benchmarks from us and people are way too high, we aren’t meant to be the perfectionist. He is keeping account of everything so just stop maintaining the balance sheet, he will take care of balancing the assets and liabilities. There’s nothing called perfect, one will always be better than other. Don’t enrol in race of being the best instead just be your best.

2. Don’t push hard on any emotion:- we are humans filled with plenty of emotions. We cannot experience one same emotion ( positive as you may call any) over and again. It’s okay if you had a gloomy day but there will be clear sky tomorrow, just divert the focus on bright day as you are not the climate controller. Don’t fear a bad emotion, if you wish to experience all the joyous and ecstasy then failure, rejections and displeasure are part of same coin.

3. Do what your heart says :-if there’s a confusion and your heart is not allowing you for something then think of the facts but follow your heart, it maybe wrong or correct but it has taken you above the fear of logics. Don’t let the laid logics or pattern decide your decisions, miracles do happen in uncertainties, I hope you’re not thinking of breaking through the Law (pun intended).

4. Don’t judge yourself :-our mind is constantly telling us what is wrong and right but in larger picture there’s nothing called right or wrong it’s just the situation. Don’t dim your confidence and happiness on basis of what people think of you what is important is that what you think of yourself. Are you what people defines you ?you don’t have to speak out loud to tell your presence, or stamp it somewhere. Just don’t try to prove others wrong, they will understand when there time will come. Always remember in leap of judging others thousand eyes are on you as well, make better choices while speaking.

5. Learn from time :-it is constantly telling a lesson Just be present enough to listen to it, it’s okay time will keep repeating the history until the lesson is learned. Make sure you don’t waste your time and time’s time. ūüėõ

6. Last but not the least, try to overcome your fears but not on cost of hurting someone. There will always be sleepless nights if you lash at someone, remember honesty without tact is cruelty. Don’t underestimate the power of benevolence and kindness.

I haven’t mastered the art of erasing my fears but as any of you I am trying my best.

Holding Hands..

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I was so so excited that my face was brimming with light, I guess the credit goes to “pre-bridal” parlour but the happiness inside was so outloud and screaming through my smile, though we didn’t manage to talk well over phone because of the alligned functions in row. It happened so sudden that I blinked and phew “I was taken, legally”. Before putting our relationship from friendship to one up took us hell lot of time maybe because we were so happy being friends and that was the fundamental and am glad we did, after all the hour I never got to know that when we actually fell in love, like right from movies ; choclates, flowers..certainly I hardly backed any, I was too pampered as friend that we never understood the relevance of the rossy feels.

God guided us through and how we stayed together for barely meeting for months, that was the omph factor of our relationship. And if I look back I still don’t know how marriage happened to us, I still remember a night before marriage I was telling him to atleast propose in utter verbal sense, he would giggle and say “I don’t want you to detail any fancy story to our kids, let the love be in actions to in expression”. I was nervous yet excited, nervous because I knew it comes with a lot of responsibilities.

The one who makes thunder roar, also hears a butterfly sigh…

This book has been one of the best read till date. I was looking for a spiritual odyssey like this but I would acknowledge that¬†this book has¬†found me. I was in my one of my PG mate room for sleepover because my AC was not working . There I found this book on her bed. I was just going through the Preface and I loved it. I took that book telling my friend for which she was like “This is not mine, its Neha’s but you can take it , I will let her know” and I didn’t get time to read that for a week. Meanwhile, Neha moved out to Delhi without a catch up Goodbye. Eventually, the book was lying around in my closet. I travel back every weekend to home which takes me around three to four hours and these books are my easy companions.

During one of my travel I took this along.

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I loved the book, why ? :-

  1. The book is not conservatively religious, they does talk about real spiritual thing
  2. Book is by “Ruzbeh N. Barucha” who has a blog – Mind Body Soul.The book has been guided with an essence of “Sai Baba of Shirdi” as a spiritual guide of the¬†lead character “Rudra” who guard him through his last months of his life
  3. Author has nub down profound quotes after every few stanza.
  4. They have also described one form of meditation viz “Fire meditation”. Light as a source of energy and illumination, which is in all of us and is meant to merge with the universal divine light. Physical manifestation could be when we lit a Diya and concentrate on the flame, it’s colors, spark and its sacred rays. I have not tried this form and I will also recommend to do it under a supervision of master/guru, to make sure it guides you the right path :-

“This fire provides you warmth, nourishment, strength, light and eternal life. As you keep chanting all the secrets of universe enfold and stand before you, as nothing can be hidden from the light. As you keep chanting, you become part of the fire and you become the fire itself and through this process you, the divine light merge with the eternal fire and light.”

Rudra is a hippie who lives a gypsy life, travel around the world. His family dejected him because of something (not explained well in book)¬†his family, friends have developed a skeptic view and his children has also brought down to conspiracy to let him go. Book starts, when Rudra¬†¬† was driving a road with no destination where grim, sloth, aloof and gloom companionate his aura and all of a sudden he saw¬†an old man lying all bleeding on road . One family was already there but they walked off considering it may involve them in¬†a police case. But Rudra couldn’t stop himself from helping the old man. Old man was lying unconscious, Rudra took him in his arms to checked his pulse and heart beat. The very moment he felt the touch something magical went down his adrenaline. Touch was warm that¬†it passed a feeling of peace down his veins. Rudra didn’t realize what¬†was that, for a while he thought whether he should help this old man wrapped in white cloth with a stubble look which reminded him of “Sai Baba of Shirdi”. But then the¬†thought washed out¬†the moment¬†he looked at¬†the wrinkled old man, he felt he knew this man since lifetimes¬†though they met for¬†first time.

He took the old man to his¬†Van and made him¬†comfortable on back¬†seat,¬†provided him¬† first aid to¬†control the flowing blood.¬†Baba opened his eyes,¬†his eyes had no pain instead they were serene¬†and¬†profound like ocean. He asked old man “Are you alright” Baba said something which Rudra didn’t hear but understood saying ” Yes, I am fine”. As Rudra looked in his eyes, tears started to flow which Rudra had no idea why. Baba caressed Rudra’s back it had so much warmth that he felt something magical went down his spine, some nectar. He smiled at Rudra, as if there’s no pain, agony. He for no reason felt like calling him BABA, he felt a fatherly ¬†warm from his presence. After finishing the first aid he thought to drive him to hospital to get the wounds filled with necessary vaccine. After all these years of exile from his family, he never felt anything except¬†agony and pain. Most of the time either he drinks or think of his children and cry out where no help could reach. His van broke down mid-way it was dark in the evening, Rudra was unsure; what next. Baba guided Rudra that five minutes to walk in there’s a cottage and we can stay there for night. Rudra was shocked that how Baba is so versed of this place. He took the cottage for overnight where eventually he stayed till last. It was a small cottage near a sea and surrounded by trees and also because of rain, foot fall was less. Baba and Rudra wasn’t talking much yet it was interactive, their eyes were talking. They both talked for hours, as if baba knew everything already. His eyes dozed off and when he woke up Baba was still up there meditating. This followed for months and he guided him to various life lessons and now he knew that only he can see Baba.

During one of his lunch in nearby restaurant, one man shared the table with him because of space crunch. All of sudden, he¬†started to hear what this middle aged man¬†was thinking. And Rudra said, don’t invest your money in foreign market you will lose all your money. And they both exchanged a look of confusion¬†” did you say something” Man on the other side of the table¬†said. Rudra unknowing of what is happening said “Yes, but I don’t know why I said this”, please guide me ” I am investing all my money in foreign¬†market, if I will lose it I will be on road”. Rudra said “they are malign and will put you in looses that all your life you will suffer from money loss and send your daughter to abroad for studies she will come out of this relationship” Rudra got up in stupor thinking what is happening to him. He briskly walked off the place. He waited Baba to come to figure out why this is happening to him. Baba used to go¬†somewhere and return at his own time, Rudra was also not allowed¬†to discuss and talk to Baba in public.¬†When Baba returned he told him what¬†happened at the restraint. Baba¬†explained “You said what master has to convey to their children, you didn’t say anything at your own, you were used as a channel for healing ; you maybe used as a champion for the disabled; warriors for the damned. But always remember it will never be you, it will always be him who will guide. Tomorrow he is going to visit again, allow master to speak through you, any moment you will bring your intention or yourself in between you will loose the connection. This connection will be strong when you will bring yourself¬†to¬†nothingness, become that “I am” and he will choose you. Rudra would always think that Baba always talked about God and universal power but never proclaimed himself as God, that’s his sage. Rudra still couldn’t accept that heaven was so short staffed that it needed a loser like him to be their vessel of karmic jazz.

And the journey continued with various experiences¬†of people visiting over to make him learn the lessons of tight turns, steep and slopes. Many times he¬†used to feel vanished and drained out after sessions for which Baba always told him to keep him in his mind and heart¬† to protect you. Your body is still not prepared to take heavy energy but you deliberately push yourself to help people, have you seen how maximum of saints, sages, masters are not the fittest, maybe because they¬†take the pain of others and it’s not that they can’t get healed but they have to go through such pain to help themselves to go through the cycle of Karma. When anyone is earth bound they have to work out their karmas to merge with divine light. Our soul is the best accountant, it vibrates what we have given to the nature.

“Jesus Christ allow himself to crucify, he took the pain for mankind otherwise no universal power¬†has the audacity to touch his single strand of hair”

After helping many visitors he left his body one fine day when he was completely torn out, he couldn’t take the pain anymore. Pain which he had in his heart for estranged children, betrayal. He still loved them all and bless them each day, he had¬†grew over¬†from anger and he always think of the good time he had spent with them. The feeling of not¬†to be¬†with them eats him each day, it was growing and growing, which made his aura filled with dark energy and he left in pain with Baba….

Book has brought many beautiful quotes which am failed to jot on this piece as the book has travelled to its owner. As if the book found me and after when I finished off, I was thinking to buzz Neha that all of a sudden she bumped into me.

Journey after life has been captured in sequel “The Fakir (The Journey Continues…)”

 

 

 

Dying to be me – Anita Moorjani

DSC02463 Book is based on a real story of “near death experience” of Anita Moorjani who has an Indian name but actually brought up in Hong kong and now living in Philippine with her husband. I could actually connect with the book because :-

  • She is an Indian , has quoted many instances from her life wherein a girl one or the other way considered as “Submissive”.¬† Education is considered as an added¬†advantage in resume of marriage- wearing short clothes, talking to boys , working out of house, going without parents permission , saying no-to-arranged proposal etc is like added frills and breaking to such will be considered as “Floozy”
  • It’s been few months down the line when I have become deep-ly inquisitive about life and I got introduced to this book of self-healing of a person healed of a fatal disease like “Cancer”. Book is an amalgam of love,life, happiness, self-healing, higher kingdom, spirituality,abundance and being gratified.

One of my really good friend sent me this riveting interview :-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyQk_wZutys 

Yes, the interview was fascinating and real informative and from there on I did get this urge of buying this book and reading each juncture of her life. I was planning to buy it but was not actually probed for it and guess what, my best friend gifted this piece on my birthday. I would definitely consider it as one of my best birthday present and will treasure this enlightening publication in my closet.

About the BOOK- is about near death experience of Anita Moorjani who was at last stage of cancer and was living last 36 hours of her life. She was in comma (Scientifically it is a stage where a person can sense but couldn’t react) same was with her. Spending around 7 years in cancer her body was completely deteriorated and wrecked. She was unconscious when she was rushed to hospital. Personal Life – Lost her father when she was in her 20’s when she was planning to marry the love her life, has a¬†mother , brother and husband as precious gems. She did not have any kid as she didn’t think she was prepared to take the responsibility by then and also thought of adopting one but couldn’t end up doing so far. She is Spiritual and well versed of Hindu Granthas because her parents always thought to always make her connected to India. Throughout her childhood she was suppressed by whites because of having a¬†brown skin which she never shared with her parents so as not to make them distressed.When in school Bible was being the regular teachings and at home Gita used to get versed. ¬†All her childhood, she had always been confused to what to follow, the one which the society accept, the one which she likes or the one which her family wants her to and expect of her being Indian. In the book, she has explained many instances where she always been a please-er and am sure not her we ¬†all are! we always please others ¬†I mean everything we do what society, family, friends expect out of¬†us but where is you ? where is that the real authentic side of yours ? we have been send to learn and to grow but what are we doing being a part of herd.
We take our time for shopping, movies, work, family- is¬† still not your own time. One should always spend time with their own self, analyse your own being before judging others , I know we are pure breed of judgmental creature. One should always be proud of what all good he/she has done . *GOOD- vary person to person. Praise yourself ¬†for all the good things you’ve done in a day – doing so will attract such instances. Apologize for what all one have done wrong – if not going in person then in intention , with pure intention to the higher being or to what-so-ever your definition of God sufficed to be. Its intention what matters not actions. Anita, was settled in a society where a girl who is working only till marriage and is meant for raising kids and serving husband and family later. In life , many decisions we take is for the society we live in and gradually the definition of happiness will become synonym to “Society-acceptability” and that’s life in true words. Throughout her life she’s been objectified with lots of fear in her, fear of raising her voice for wrong, fear of not being typical Indian girl, fear of letting her parents down , which am sure is with all of us, Isn’t that ? And this fear became CANCER. And now no one will believe how fear can create cancer ? Scientifically , because of some X virus Y deficiency has occurred and created a CLOT to be scientifically define it as cancer. But did science explained, what cause happiness, love, hatred, fear, gratitude ? If you will mix A with B you will be happy – Universally accepted truth or something.
Science doesn’t deal with energies but do explain about negative and positive electrons. But, what is negative and positive ? Didn’t you ever feel joy, anger, envy, butterflies then what is that ? am not talking about definition of google am seeking for scientific formula. Feelings are the energies. Negative energy can be – Envy, grief, sadness, anger, anxiety etc. These energies get ¬†stuck in your brains and affects you. Probably, not now but in the later run. Likewise, the content of fear was inherent to the extent that it affected her aura in a way that it turned out to be cancer. Why cancer ? It is a kind of disease which eats all your body gradually. Throughout her life she didn’t love her own being. Initially, she used to hate her color , later she hates her for being born in Indian family which was conservatively high and¬†on the contrary she had girl friends¬†who can go out without permissions and can have male friends without¬†a questionable¬†thought. She was¬†a continuous¬†victim of being judged.
In 36 hours of her comma, she could feel what was going around but couldn’t control it ,what was ¬†happening in the room where she was hospice but to what is happening in the hospital and out of the hospital and everywhere. She felt she was light as feather and can move freely without aid of anyone. now none of her body part was aching, she was released and released of her body lying on bed. She couldn’t understand what was happening, why her mother and husband was crying when she was completely fine now. Gradually, she felt lighter and lighter. She felt she is not in this realm anymore. She was happy after big long years.She felt beautiful, gigantic and abundant. She realized how her fear turned fatal.
When asked in an interview, ¬†did you see God in other realm ? she replied ” I don’t know what God is ? how does he looks like? Which biology or gender does he belongs to? I felt being merged to a light where I felt immense Joy, happiness, illumination, healed and felt a part of the bigger light. She realized that we all are one children of God, we are here to learn something and to know the purpose of the incarnation.There is no “Set of process” we all need to become humans and respect and help others as humans because we are one with the higher one. We all have to pay for each “Karma” that we will inculcate. And that’s our choice which side we choose for ? We write our own life “Karma” has got no chapter. We should use each day as evolving human being to unfold each teachings. You will get teacher in any face. At times, your kids become your teacher when they say “Jhut bolne se paap lagega” your elders are your teacher/gurus when they teach you to “daily naha liya kar nikame” at least to clean the temple of your soul. We the body are the temple and instrument for our soul.
How she came back to her body ? When she was in other realm and was aware of every know-how . She met her father , the essence of her father which primarily was not the physical being of her father. Mere the presence of her father, where she was communicated that he loves her a lot and this is not her time to come . Her purpose from this life is yet to be completed , the purpose which she never realized, the purpose of being driven to the life of “Anita Moorjani” she felt immense love meeting with her father’s essence where she couldn’t hug her father physically yet she felt light, comfort and contented. It was her choice to go back and explore the purpose where she was some or the other way aware that she will be healed of cancer,how?she couldn’t calculate.
She opened her eyes after 36 hours where she could recognize the doctor who treated her though she was unconscious when she was brought to the hospital. She could utterly remember conversations between her husband and doctor,her brother who was flying back to Philippine from India and many.
Within a month she was completely healed of cancer. The purpose came to her in its own way. Initially, she was not confident of telling people what other realm feels like. But later, she fiercely tell people without being judged. She spent maximum of her time doing things which she likes, she felt more compassionate with people. Earlier , she had bunch and bunch of friends.Now, she understands the true meaning of friend and rely with people not to make society rapport but for own self. The purpose which she was meant to serve is – Dying to be me.

P.S book has explained self-healing, peace, divinity,love and abundance. The major part I like is the intense love of her husband towards her. No matter, how she looked ( Spint of cancer) he loved her even more each day. Things that he has done for her is truly profound and is hard to find these days.